Symptoms of Mommyhood

We talk so much about pregnancy symptoms, phantom pregnancy symptoms, labor symptoms, etc., but rarely do we discuss what I like to call the Symptoms of Mommyhood. We all know about sleep deprevation, but there is more to it than that. My current Symptoms of Mommyhood are as follows:

• The patience of Job when it comes to my son including but not limited to his pooping, puking, scratching, punching me in the eye, pulling my hair, crushing my windpipe with an elbow and headbutting me in the teeth.
• The lack of patience for anything and anyone other than the above.
• A complete and utter lack of verbal filter, which I'm surprised has not gotten me fired or even caused more than a bemused smile from the boss. This is either awesome or concrete proof that he doesn't hear a word I say.
• Wakefullness due only to coffee consumption and sheer will power. Seriously. If you were to draw blood at this very moment, I'm positive you would find that pure liquified caffeine has replaced my plasma.
• Vocabulary in stressful situations reduced to "f*ck". This also goes for annoying situations, dealing with stupid people and seeing yet one more call to sign a political petition on Face.book from the same stupid misguided person - not because of her political leanings, but because it is painfully obvious the "organization" that makes these petitions up has no idea what they are actually talking about.
• The overwhelming urge to take a red pen to each and every piece of written/typed/electronic correspondence. Though truth be told, this was a pregnancy symptom of mine as well. The local news station has gotten many hostile grammar-nazi-esq emails from me. They've also probably blocked my address.
• Twix bar consumption at the approximate rate of 32lbs. per month.
• A painful little thing called "Mommy Thumb" which is really DeQuervain's tendonitis. Thank God for cortisone shots.
• Pondering the big questions: When was the last time I showered? Is that vomit on my shoulder? Why does my husband make it through diaper changes unscathed while I must perform acts of arm contortion to escape being crapped on by a sudden shart that also sprays the wall?
• I've always had a bitch streak in me. This has been exponentially increased.

What's the point of this post? Duh! I wanted to bitch! Seriously though, being Mommy is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced and I wouldn't trade a second of it for the world. Through the exhaustion, pain and vomit, there is nothing I love more than my sweet boy.

Happy Valentine's Day

An original Valentine's Day poem:



It's Griffin's first Valentine's Day.

He certainly has lots to say.

He's healing his lungs,

And learning new tongues!

"Te quiero" and "je t'aime"!

Happy Valentine's Day! We've also learned to say "I love you" in three other languages, which fulfills the Day Zero Project goal of learning to say "I love you" in five different languages. Je t'aime! Ich liebe dich! Te quiero/te amo! Ég elska þig (pronounced "jeg elska thig")! Ya tebya kahayu!*

*For reference the languages are French, German, Spanish, Icelandic and Ukrainian.

ER Visit

So last night we had Griffin at the ER. He's fine, but after we did his 8pm breathing treatment, he still wasn't breathing well. He was very crackly, sounding like a coffee pot percolating, and he was also doing this grunting thing while trying to breathe. By the time we got to the hospital, he was basically fine again. He does still have a nasty cold and bronchiolitis, but he does not have RSV or the flu and his oxygen saturation is great.

We had our follow up with the pediatrician this morning and she said that it sounds like he had a mucous plug in one of the bronchioles and was grunting trying to get it loose. He did have a couple really gross sounding coughing fits on the way to the hospital, so that makes perfect sense. We have to continue doing nebulizer treatments every 4 hours until he's not crackly and mostly over things, but then we can slowly back off the frequency and finally stop once his cough is 100% gone, which could easily be 3 weeks from now. The doctor does expect him to be over the cold in about a week.

I won't begin to tell you what went through the mind of this MOPL (Mommy Of Previous Loss - yes, I just made that up. I don't qualify as a MILF, but felt the need to have some kind of abbreviated title), but once we got through triage and I saw his O2 sat, I was very much at ease. Then I was happily surprised at how well behaved he was throughout the whole ordeal. The only time he got upset was when they power-snucked* his nose out, and I don't blame him for that. Otherwise, he was looking all around and trying to eat his gown. And his hands. And Daddy's finger. And Tigger. He's definitely in the "let me put this in my mouth" stage.

So that's it for now. We're hoping that is our only ER trip - ever! - and hoping to get some sleep tonight. Thankfully I know the latter will happen because my sister is coming over and she takes care of Griffin so we can get sleep. Have a great weekend, blogosphere pals!

*snuck: contraction of "snot" and "suck"

Bronchiolitis, Part Two

Yes, folks. There is a part two. Griffin got another cold on top of the one he was pretty much over as well as the bronchiolitis he was pretty much over. The new cold made the bronchiolitis flare up, so we're back to nebulizer treatments every 4 hours. My poor Wee Man!

Day Zero Project

After the relative success of setting goals for my 30th year, I've turned to the Day Zero Project. Many of you may be familiar, but if not the basic idea is to set and complete 101 goals in 1001 days. Actually, that's not the basica idea. That's the entire idea. You can go it alone, or you can sign up for the site for free and track it there.

I started my 1001 days on November 7th - yes, 2 days before Griffin was born. My finish date is set to be August 4, 2013. So far I have completed 5 tasks and have another 5 that I am working on. You can follow my list here, which is just another page to the blog, but I think it's kind of difficult to see up there at the top since it's just hyperlinks and not tabs.

One of the goals is to read 30 books. I figured I'd give that another go since I met my initial goal of 10 in my 30th year, and ended up completing 16. I figure with that natural pace and taking out time for playing with Griffin, I *should* be able to tick this one off the list by at least the 1001st day. I actually just read a short, but quite entertaining book this morning. It's called "People Who Deserve It: Socially Responsible Reasons to Punch Someone in the Face." It was a gift to Bry for Christmas. I love the books his friends find for him! So that makes a 3 book dent in my goal. 10% complete with 910 days left to go.

Anyway, hope all is well with you, my beloved blog readers. We are all doing well here. Bryan started the semester this week in his Master's program, which he can now (and will) complete 100% online. Griffin is over the acute phase of bronchiolitis and now is just dealing with the lingering cough. He was very happy to go back to school and see his teachers and friends. I was very happy to get back to the office as all hell was threatening to break loose. I'm still cleaning things up from being on (semi-)maternity leave. Soon though, the office should be organized and running smoothly. Well, as smoothly as possible with a boss who can't stay on task and seems to only listen to half of the words that I say with those words being things like "the," "it," and "f*%^!." Good times....