RE Consult =o)

So girls, I'm back! Bryan made jokes throughout the entire thing so I'm sure I forgot to ask some stuff, but whatever. Anyway, here's how it went...

First, we sit down in Dr. Smith's office and go through medical history and what we've tried so far. She asks if I've done OPKs and I tell her oh yeah I've done that and charting.

Then I go for the pelvic exam and STD testing. This was Bryan's first time seeing what happens at a gynecological exam. He walked into the room and said "This is freakin' Frankenstien's office!" because of all the equipment. At least he had the nurses rolling! So all that is done, and then I go for the blood work....

SEVEN vials of blood later, and since I laid down I didn't pass out, we get up to go. But then I think...uhhh...what now? Do we leave? What do we do? So I ask and we have to sit down with the billing department to go over our confirmation of benefits. I'm covered 50% for everything up to IVF (as far as they can tell) with a $3,300 out of pocket max per plan year.

Then I get my slip for the rest of the tests they want to do - a repeat lipids test to check my cholesterol again, and a 2 hour glucose tolerance test. Fun fun.

And now, without further ado.....

The Big Plan

We will be doing a "natural" cycle - meaning good old fashioned sex - with 100mg Clomid again. They will monitor with ultrasound and I will then do the HCG trigger shot, a post-coital exam and a progesterone test to check and make sure I did indeed ovulate and that I'm making enough progesterone.

So there you have it folks....a plan! At least for this first round. Now I just have to go drink a ton of sugary crap on an empty stomach and pray I don't puke it up!

Have a great Sunday!

Blah-de-blah-blah

That's who I feel like today. My darling little 'I'm so down' Eeyore.

T minus 2 days until the RE and I'm feeling alot more sad than I have in weeks. I have no clear reason for it, but I guess being infertile, I don't need any other reason.

I'm hoping that by noon on Sunday we'll have a plan. It could be more clomid and "natural" cycles, clomid with IUI, injectibles with "natural", injectibles with IUI...IVF...who knows??? Maybe I'm just nervous...or excited...or just so damn drained the only emotion I can muster is sadness. Ah well.

Have a lovely weekend ladies. I'll be sure to update you at least on Sunday!

Tired of Bad News!

I hope it's not an omen for my upcoming appointment! In the last week, I found out 2 friends are separating from their husbands, and 2 TTC girls are having some very bad luck!

So here's some good luck for all of us. Hope it's enough!

"Infertility Etiquette"

My good friend, Maggy, shared a great article with me last night and I wanted to share it with you all. It is appropriately called Infertility Etiquette (ooo look! I linked it!)

It's been quite a week - the crazy market has made work insane and we're getting ready to cut part of the office off, so in addition to frantic calls from clients I'm also packing things up, throwing things out, moving things around. Oh, and I only have a week left to finish. Fun!

If that isn't tiring enough, I'm going sailing with the in-laws tomorrow, girl's night tomorrow night and a wine festival Sunday. So yeah - no rest for the weary. I may be MIA for the next week or so - I definitely won't be around as much - but I will try to check in with everyone.

Have a great weekend!

My New Love

I wanted to share with you my new love.



They are the yummiest, fudgiest, fat free creation ever to makes it's way into my mouth. I give you...No Pudge Brownies!




That is all.

Medical Records - FINALLY!

First off, I'm so glad that after two and a half weeks and three phone calls, I finally got my records from my OB/GYN's office. That being said, there are a couple interesting things to report about them.

My progesterone level Clomid Round One: 57.7

Let me share with you the normal ranges listed.

Follicular 0.2 - 1.4
Luteal 3.3 - 25.6
Mid-luteal 4.4 - 28.0

Where the hell is 57.7 on that??

Well, I look down a little farther and what do I see? The ranges for pregnancy. And what is the range for the first trimester you might ask? 11.2 - 90.0. Oh look where my level fell! Could this be a fluke, or could I have been pregnant and had a very very very early miscarriage? Miscarriage is possible. It would explain the very heavy and extremely painful AF after that cycle. (Update: Apparently this can happen without pregnancy. My BFF looked it up in her medical texts. On Clomid progesterone has been seen as high as 1706!) Anyway...moving on....

The Swimmer's Report

Volume: 3.1 (normal is 2 or more) - good good....

Concentration: 118 (20 or more) - Hot damn!

Total Motile Sperm: 187 (8 or more) - Double hot damn! Or, if you're doing the math, 23.375 hot damn.

Motility: 51 (50 or more) - Eh. Better than under. I'll take it.

Morphology: 31 (14 or more) - Really? 14 or more? I thought it was 30 or more. Still, I'll take it.

Progression: 2 - 3+ (2+ - 4) - Sounds good to me. At least his swimmers don't seem to have ADD as well. At least they know where to go.

pH: 8.2 (7.2 or more) - Ok, but I've also seen the range listed as 7.2 - 7.8. This seems a bit alkaline to me, but I'm no doctor. Whatever.

Viscosity: Severe ("normal" is normal) - WHAT??? After a minor cardiac event, I looked up viscosity, sure we were doomed thanks to semen as thick as iron, I find that it's ok. If it's too thick, IUI will take care of it.

Everything else is normal. I definitely have PCOS. I definitely did not ovulate with the second round of Clomid (progesterone level was 0.9 - a bit far from the 8 my doctor was looking for). I definitely did ovulate on Round Three. I'm definitely not pregnant. I'm more than definitely ready for the RE appointment. I want to know what all of this will mean for us. I want to know that my doctor's report of the semen analysis being "normal," is truly in fact normal and that these little "eh, that's not a wonderful number" things aren't adding up to disaster for us (I'm sure it's not - I just need to hear it from the RE).

There's more to say today...some stupid comments that have been made to me, but that will have to wait at least until after dinner!

Welcome Friends / Update

I just got my first follower! yay! Thanks for taking an interest in my ramblings Courtney!

So we went to our fertility education seminar last night. It was a ton of information I already knew, but DH didn't know some of the more technical stuff, so he enjoyed it. Well, enjoyed it as much as he could seeing as how we are infertile. Afterwards we got to set up our appointment. September 28th. It's a Sunday. How cool is it that they do consults on the weekends? I'm very pleased that they got me in so quickly and on a weekend to boot!

So, we will be seeing Dr. Smith who treated my stepmother 17 & 15 years ago. I have a beautiful 15 year old sister and a little brother who I firmly believe is my sister's guardian angel. Why else would he have been taken from us 2 weeks before his due date, right? My sister was supposed to be on this earth and she needed a special guardian in Heaven. But I digress....

Anyway, I'm excited and nervous at the same time for our appointment. I've been trying to explain it to friends all day long, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have a few ideas of why I'm so nervous. Mainly, this is our last stop on the road to having our own biological child. Even though there are many different treatments we may be able to try, this is THE place. Either I'll walk out of there a mother, or I'll walk out broke and with adoption brochures. It's just scary to me that this in a way is the "end of the road." It's a very long end, but it's the end. These doctors and embryologists have my most important (and longest wanted) dream in their hands.

That being said, I'm also extremely happy that we are taking this next step. I mean, it would be better had we been able to get pregnant on our own, but hey - I'll take what I can get!

Random thoughts time!!

I'm giddy. I'm happy. I'm crying one minute, laughing the next. I go back and forth on whether I should tell my mother we're trying or just keep her blissfully ignorant. I love my family, but I hate that my cousin and my brother both got their kids on the first try. I see a pregnant woman, and what do I automatically think? "B!tch" *sigh*

Oh, don't you love infertility?

For All Those Who Are Struggling...and One In Particular

I wish there was something I could say - something I could do - to make everything better for you. I've never had to fight so hard for anything in my life, like I have for becoming a mother. Now that I'm fighting for myself, I want to fight for everyone else struggling. I want to discover something that will make this easy. I want to find something to say that will take all of the pain away.

I've been reading a friend's blog who recently got some bad news on the TTC front. I can't even begin to say how awful I feel that this is happening to her. I really don't even know her that well, but she's always been so helpful and friendly to me and to everyone else. She's an absolute riot and always puts a smile on my face even when I'm so far past sad.

Cindy, I wish you all the luck in the world on this journey you and your husband are starting. I keep searching online for a magical remedy - something....anything that will help you out in this. Alas, the only thing I can offer you is my shoulder and lots of prayers. I can only hope that in some small way it will help.

That Stupid Question

In the span of two days I was asked by three different people if I had kids yet. Two of these three people were complete strangers. Well, I guess not complete since one was cutting my hair at Haircuttery, but before I walked in there she didn't know me from a hole in the ground. She was the first to ask. I thought 'Oh, this is ok. She doesn't know and I did just say something about my husband, so she is just assuming that since I'm married, we'll want kids.'

The second person was a random guy outside of Haircuttery trying to sell books and magazines to put himself through college "instead of selling drugs." He asked me if I had kids because he was hoping to sell me some kids books. Fine. I get it. It's a marketing technique. Whatever. Leave me alone. I just want to go home with my newly trimmed hair and eat dinner.

The third happened yesterday. This one was asked by a man I do business with and whom I see on a fairly regular basis (and have seen on a fairly regular basis for the past 4 years or so). He usually asks silly things each time I see him. Generally the same old

"Are you still married?"

"Yes."

"To the same guy?"

"Yes."

"And they said it wouldn't last..."

This time though, he omitted the "And they said it wouldn't last" part and instead said "Well that's wonderful. Are there any little Kate's running around now?" Are you kidding me???? You see me every couple months. Have you seen me pop out a kid????

Anyway, I digress. The point is, I got to thinking today....that question should be totally off limits. Similar to questions like

"Hello. Nice to meet you. How much do you weigh?"

or

"Is that a parrot in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?"

Really people, if you absolutely must know whether I have kids or not and choose to ask me, when I say no, do NOT ask my why not, when or anything else. Take my 'No' as an end to that conversation, please.

By the way, I realize this would be more fun if I had cute pictures or used colors or something. I'm not that sophisticated....yet.

Intro

Well hello and welcome to my little spot!

This is my 2nd attempt at blogging. The first, on WTE was going well, until the site crapped out on me and I couldn't even log in. Things are fixed now, but it's still temperamental on my computer, so I'll try it out here.

To give you a little background, I'm 28 and my hubby and I have been trying to have a baby for a little over 16 months. I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome), and I have done 3 cycles of treatments so far with no luck. Feel free to check out my blog at WTE, or just ask me more.

Since I'm a newbie at this blogging thing I can't guarantee this will go well, but I promise the following:

-I will spell check my posts.
-I will do my best to use proper grammar at all times. (I'm a teacher's daughter - I have to at least attempt this!)
-I will do my best to post things that are informative and/or entertaining. (So far, I think I'm failing at this.)
-I will update as often as I possibly can find anything to write about.

And now since I've stayed up way too late yet again, I am going to bed.

Side note: DQ's new sandwich looks like lunch meat stuck between two Eggo waffles - definitely not appetizing.