I'm such a slacker

I know, I know. I haven't been writing like I should, but really it's been a tough month.

Things were on the up and up. I had finished my pity party, as you can read below. Christmas was coming, which even though it meant lots of driving on our part, it also meant a 4 and a half day weekend. And then, as I sat eating my lunch on the 16th, I got the call - my friend/coworker had committed suicide.

It was a very difficult week. Horrible, really. All the brightness and fun he brought to this office was suddenly gone. Why? Well, as I found out later his depression medications were somehow getting screwed up. I knew he had been hospitalized twice in the past year for issues with cutting himself, but I didn't know the extent that his meds screwed him up. Apparently a few days before he died, his father went to his apartment and found him just kind of staring. He didn't even know who he was, and then just as suddenly the next day, he was himself again. That explains the odd message I had from him on my computer when I got to work that fateful Tuesday - "do you know me".

The funeral was the hardest one I've ever been to. He was only 25 years old after all, and all of his family and friends (it was packed!) shouldn't have been gathering to say goodbye. Alas, we did. It was a lovely service and beforehand was filled with a mix of his favorite music, which was somewhat odd to hear at a funeral home, but it fit him so well! I also found out at the funeral the gruesome details - until then, I could only guess why he died, albeit somewhat correctly. I think knowing what happened and knowing that he wasn't "in his right mind" at the time, was somewhat comforting.



I'll miss him alot, but now all of the problems that plagued him are gone and he can rest and be happy.

And now for something happier...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. As I mentioned before, we did alot of driving - 4 Christmases in 24 hours tends to warrant that. It was such a whirlwind of hugs, presents and food that when I've been asked "What did you get for Christmas?" I can honestly think of less than a third of the things I got. I know I loved everything, though!

So far we have no plans for New Year's Eve. I'd be perfectly happy sitting home and chatting, but Bryan seems to want to get together with some friends. We'll see what happens. I'm not normally one to make New Year's resolutions, but I do have one for this year...

I WILL GET PREGNANT IN 2009.

I'm waiting on good ol' AF. Today is day 6 of provera. If things go about the same as they did last cycle on provera, I'll get AF in 18 days. Yes, I know you are supposed to take provera for 10 days and then AF will magically appear within 10 more days of the last pill; however, my body being the stubborn ass that it is waited 2 weeks after my last pill. It's ok though, because as much as I want to get going on my injectibles, I'm still waiting for approval and delivery of my Gonal-F.

So here's to 2009 - it can't be worse than 2008, right?

Well I'm back from my pity party. Sorry it's been so long! I was very down after my follie scan showed nothing, and it just got worse from there. There is a silver lining here though - I learned a few things. Some new things, some old things I had forgotten. Let me share them with you....

1 - Three drinks and Prozac don't mix. This is probably why I was so terribly down. The 2 mimosas and wine I had on Thanksgiving left me feeling a little down over the long weekend, and then the follie scan sent me further.

2 - Jimmy Buffett cures any bad mood. Just one drive home from work with Buffett playing, me singing along and laughing, and I was a hundred times happier.

3 - It is crucial that websites, copiers and fax machines work properly - without "quirks" - when running a business.



4 - Songs really say things better than I ever could. I used to write really bad poetry (ahhh, teenage angst...) and classical music, but certain songs just say exactly what I think/feel at times. It continually amazes me how other people can say things that have so much meaning to me.

And last, but not least...

5 - Men are wearing hats more. Not baseball caps - actual hats. The funny thing is, they either look like a gentleman transplanted from 1956, or the devil incarnate. Seriously, I saw both types within 24 hours. One was an older man in a trench coat and hat and carried briefcase. He looked kind, like he was on his way to work and then home to a loving family to put his feet up, have a drink and listen to the kids watching Howdy Doody. The other man I saw wore a black wool coat, black hat, had black eyes and scowled at everyone in the grocery store while pushing his cart in a stalking type manner. He looked completely evil, and for seeing him in every aisle of the store, he had surprisingly little in his cart.

So...I hope everyone is doing well and is ready for the holidays! I'm almost ready, but not quite. I keep forgetting to pick a few little things up. It will get done eventually. Or it won't. I'm not going to stress over it!

Welcome to Shit Tuesday.

Yep. You heard me. It was a Shit day. Notice that capital S...and the bold...and italic. That's how bad it was.

Apparently TTC has taken over every brain cell because I seem to keep screwing things up at work. It's driving me crazy because I'm so used to being organized and knowing what's going on at all times. Now I'm lucky if I can remember what someone said to me 10 minutes ago. Ugh.

I also found out today that a good friend of my is well on his way to kidney failure. I'm so sad about this. He's such a sweet person and doesn't deserve any of the crap that has happened to him over his lifetime.

And to top everything off - or well, to start it for the day - was my follie scan this morning. How many Bettys does Kate have? Zero. Absolutely none. Thanks ovaries, for proving once again you are utterly useless.