Please bear with me while I write out my thoughts today. They will most likely be disjointed.
It's hard to believe that a year ago I was preparing for the same day, but with a much heavier heart. Even with our Wee Man on his way it doesn't erase the pain and sadness of saying goodbye to my first born children, but this year I am more upbeat feeling. It's only natural, as it has been over a year since we met and said goodbye (for now). I'm not in the throes of deep greiving this year. Instead I'm preparing for Wee Man. And though in the back of my mind I still worry that will might lose him too, I trudge on having full faith that he will arrive safely, happy and healthy.
Not a day goes by that I don't think about Wally and Liz. It's not with tears anymore though. I smile a lot thinking of them. How adorable they were. How I know and can feel that they are still around us. How even though I miss them terribly, they are happy and safe in Heaven and as much as I would have loved to raise them, I wouldn't change a thing. Wee Man is meant for great things, and he has his big brother and sister to watch over him in ways we can't.
I know it will be emotional when Wee Man arrives - not only for the joy of his healthy birth, but for the sadness on what we missed with Wally and Liz. Those feelings will subside in time, just as they did when my sister was born 2 years after my brother was stillborn. She is also destined for great things on this earth. Bry has an angel sibling as well, though we don't know anything about him or her, as his mother never speaks about it. How blessed we are having so many angels in our family!
Anyway, I again hope that you will join me this month and on October 15th to remember all of the angel babies out there.
1 comment:
I had 2 miscarriages, although neither pregnancy was as far along as yours. I sobbed when Matthew was born. I still tear up pretty much every day, just at the mere sight of him, and then he smiles and my heart melts more. He is the most beautiful creature. He's 9 1/2 months and it's hard to believe sometimes that he's really here. His presence has taken away some of the hurt of the losses. We'll never forget what we went thru to get him here, the ones we lost along the way, but him being here is so much sweeter, just as your little guy will be for you. :o)
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