I just got my first follower! yay! Thanks for taking an interest in my ramblings Courtney!
So we went to our fertility education seminar last night. It was a ton of information I already knew, but DH didn't know some of the more technical stuff, so he enjoyed it. Well, enjoyed it as much as he could seeing as how we are infertile. Afterwards we got to set up our appointment. September 28th. It's a Sunday. How cool is it that they do consults on the weekends? I'm very pleased that they got me in so quickly and on a weekend to boot!
So, we will be seeing Dr. Smith who treated my stepmother 17 & 15 years ago. I have a beautiful 15 year old sister and a little brother who I firmly believe is my sister's guardian angel. Why else would he have been taken from us 2 weeks before his due date, right? My sister was supposed to be on this earth and she needed a special guardian in Heaven. But I digress....
Anyway, I'm excited and nervous at the same time for our appointment. I've been trying to explain it to friends all day long, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have a few ideas of why I'm so nervous. Mainly, this is our last stop on the road to having our own biological child. Even though there are many different treatments we may be able to try, this is THE place. Either I'll walk out of there a mother, or I'll walk out broke and with adoption brochures. It's just scary to me that this in a way is the "end of the road." It's a very long end, but it's the end. These doctors and embryologists have my most important (and longest wanted) dream in their hands.
That being said, I'm also extremely happy that we are taking this next step. I mean, it would be better had we been able to get pregnant on our own, but hey - I'll take what I can get!
Random thoughts time!!
I'm giddy. I'm happy. I'm crying one minute, laughing the next. I go back and forth on whether I should tell my mother we're trying or just keep her blissfully ignorant. I love my family, but I hate that my cousin and my brother both got their kids on the first try. I see a pregnant woman, and what do I automatically think? "B!tch" *sigh*
Oh, don't you love infertility?
So we went to our fertility education seminar last night. It was a ton of information I already knew, but DH didn't know some of the more technical stuff, so he enjoyed it. Well, enjoyed it as much as he could seeing as how we are infertile. Afterwards we got to set up our appointment. September 28th. It's a Sunday. How cool is it that they do consults on the weekends? I'm very pleased that they got me in so quickly and on a weekend to boot!
So, we will be seeing Dr. Smith who treated my stepmother 17 & 15 years ago. I have a beautiful 15 year old sister and a little brother who I firmly believe is my sister's guardian angel. Why else would he have been taken from us 2 weeks before his due date, right? My sister was supposed to be on this earth and she needed a special guardian in Heaven. But I digress....
Anyway, I'm excited and nervous at the same time for our appointment. I've been trying to explain it to friends all day long, and I can't quite put my finger on it, but I have a few ideas of why I'm so nervous. Mainly, this is our last stop on the road to having our own biological child. Even though there are many different treatments we may be able to try, this is THE place. Either I'll walk out of there a mother, or I'll walk out broke and with adoption brochures. It's just scary to me that this in a way is the "end of the road." It's a very long end, but it's the end. These doctors and embryologists have my most important (and longest wanted) dream in their hands.
That being said, I'm also extremely happy that we are taking this next step. I mean, it would be better had we been able to get pregnant on our own, but hey - I'll take what I can get!
I'm giddy. I'm happy. I'm crying one minute, laughing the next. I go back and forth on whether I should tell my mother we're trying or just keep her blissfully ignorant. I love my family, but I hate that my cousin and my brother both got their kids on the first try. I see a pregnant woman, and what do I automatically think? "B!tch" *sigh*
Oh, don't you love infertility?
1 comment:
I'm back and forth as well---one minute I'm so excited at the prospect that IVF/ICSI could help us...then I think it hits me that we don't have any freakin' money for it.
I also can't decide what to do about my mother...and the rest of my family.
Hmmmm. I figure if we have to move to Mass. I'll come out of the IF closet.
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